Whistle - "Rest In Peace"
Whistle - "Just Buggin'"
Whistle - "Barbera's Bedroom"
Whistle Week concludes!
What better way to end a week that began with a Star Wars parody then back at the beginning? Today we cover the self-titled Whistle, otherwise known as where it all started. (No idea what "it" is, though.)
Since I was the first one of us to think of downloading a Whistle album, I was the one lucky enough to get the first, and by far most tolerable, of their records. First of all, it has the utterly bizarre "Just Buggin'" which I elaborated on before, and which is most assuredly the highlight of their catalogue.
But don't get it twisted, these fools were churning out softbatch R&B from day one, apparently. The 10-song album breaks down like this...
Tracks 1-3: rap, tracks 4-5: R&B (with love in the title of both), track 6: nonsense rap, track 7: weak instrumental, track 8: R&B, track 9: 12" version of previous R&B track, track 10: 8 minute reprise of same R&B track that ends with a skit where a chick punches one of the rappers in the mouth.
Yeah, that's a recipe for a classic right there.
Anyway, the album starts off with "Rest In Peace" which is the hardest Whistle ever gets. I guess it's their attempt at mid 80's shout-rap, because they yell over a shitty guitar riff about how:
"And if you don't like the party and you start to beef,and...
Then we'll make sure you REST IN PEACE!"
"Attention! Let's face the facts,Well, they are from Brooklyn, so can their yelling threats of violence over a guitar be seen as an M.O.P precursor maybe? I suppose anything's possible.
And if you don't want to listen we'll break your back,
'Cause we're Whistle (goofy-ass whistle sound) and we're that bad!"
But if you think the lyrics to that one are lackluster, good lord you should hear the lone rap cut of the second half, "Just For Fun" (which still has a sung chorus).
"We like to go to the beach and eat peanut butter!Now, granted, this sounds like it could be some fun silly shit, but trust me, these motherfuckers yell it with serious, almost angry, conviction. It's really, really strange.
Then we wash it down with some pina colada!
If the temperature rrrrises we won't get hotter!
If we do we'll jump in the water!"
Oh, but that's just the rap my friends, as my colleagues have already made plain, these fools sing too. Thankfully, this first record only has one syrupy, painful ballad, which is the mercifully 4 minute long "Chance For Our Love". I won't subject ya'll to it, don't worry. The album's real centerpiece is, of course, "Just Buggin'", but I feel like if Whistle had had it their way it would've been "Barbera's Bedroom". The whole thing is basically "holy shit, I fucked this chick, but don't tell her that I told you!" and so it comes across real pathetic. It's kinda bouncy though, and rather fun to laugh at what a fucking loser the guy is being.
Did it need three versions? Hell no, but it is fun to hear a rapper who started the album threatening to make you "rest in peace" get punched in the face for spreading stories about a woman who he probably didn't even sleep with in the first place. Oh, and let's not forget that he (or one of them) spends the album's middle cut begging "pleeeeease love meeeee."
So, what did we learn from Whistle Week? What great lesson did this specific concentration of ours teach us and, by proxy, you the reader? Umm, there's always been shitty rap songs, and rappas ternt sangas have always been a bad look.
Oh, and Whistle sucks. I promise ya'll some good music next time.