Sunday, June 10, 2007

Whistle Wheek Episode 1: The Empire Strikes Whack

Tell me, what's your biggest complaint about Andre3000?
Alright, what about Lauryn Hill?
Cee-Lo Green?
T-Pain?

Exactly, they were all phenomenal rappers who have all but abandoned the form for singing (although reports tell me T-Pain is planning a move back to rapping, so fans worry not).

Bring in Whistle.

From all accounts, the group had been rather conflicted about whether to sing or rap since their debut, but Eli could probably tell you more about that. As their career moved further and further along, their ties with rapping became greatly lessened. Always and Forever, their third studio album released in 1990 reads like a textbook on how to make an incredibly forgettable r&b album. When your lead single, and album title, is a direct cover of an already popular song -Heatwave's 1978 single "Always and Forever,"-one can quickly guess how enjoyable the rest of the album will be.


Whistle-"Always and Forever"

To be fair, "Always and Forever" is easily the best song of the front half of the album. Whistle lacks both the ability to write a catchy song and to sing well, so aping someone else's melody is a good look. The first half of the album, literally the first 5 tracks out of the 10, are all painfully slow love ballads, or "love" ballads I should say. Songs like "Whatever Happened 2 Us 2" and "Do You Still Care" show how inept Whistle can be at holding down a woman.


Whistle-"Bad Habit"

The sixth track on the album, "Bad Habit" kicks off the "New Jack Swing" half of the album. Just about as unremarkable as the first half, I at least found these upbeat numbers to be a little more listenable than as they don't really rely on Whistle's ability to be skilled singers. Much like the first half however, asking me to distinguish one song from the next, with a few notable exceptions becomes quite the daunting task. "Bad Habit" distinguishes itself from the rest of the tracks by containing the only rapped verse on the whole album, one of the tracks samples Flavor Flav and "Geesed" gets points for introducing me to a new slang term.


Whistle-"Geesed"

Ultimately though, the back half falls victim to the same ills of the fron half. Whistle is still a group of lousy singers, and their songs are mad soft. "Acting Like You Love Me" and "Geesed" still show how women always manage to get the better of Whistle, and honestly, that's not what I really want to hear from my R&B.
In a year of monster R&B hits like "Real Love," "Rhythm Nation," "It Never Rain (In Southern California)" and um..."Poison," such mediocre, unimportant drivel is highly inexcusable and unforgivable.

Considering the lack of reviews on this site, scoring this album would be arbitrary. but I'll put it like this: out of the 10 tracks on this album, I would make love to 1 of them, and that's only because I've misplaced my Best of Heatwave at the moment.

9 comments:

Elijah said...

I am going to start using the term "geesed" like it's going out of style.

(Which it would be, had it ever been in style.)

Dart Adams said...

Ahhh...Whistle. They were like the Force MC's becoming the Force MD's all over again. They went from "We're Only Buggin'" to singing ballads. Memories. One.

Petro said...

1st bitches

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